Progress report

I have been doing really well yesterday and today. Yesterday I ate pretty well, only slipped up by eating a bunch of pasta after work. Today I had a protein shake for breakfast and half a can of yucky lentil soup for lunch (I like lentil soup but evidently not this particular brand). I am thinking of getting a veggie delite sub from subway. Not sure if I will be able to withstand the craving. I am pondering it (I should probably try to take my mind off food all together). I exercised for an hour and fifteen minutes yesterday when I didn't really want to go to the gym in the first place. I had a healthy dinner (fake chicken patty with barbecue dipping sauce, frozen butternut squash, broccoli) and lots of water.

I was reading a lot of articles on diet and physical activity for a school project and for fun. One thing I learned about deciding among healthy and unhealthy changes: if you think you are making an isolated choice and that you will make better choices in the future, you will probably continue to pick crappy choices. If you view your current choice as a series of choices that you will continue to make into the future, you are more likely to go with the healthier option. This is very relevant to my interests. I always say well I will eat this crap now because I know I am almost ready to start making healthy choices, or I will start tomorrow with the consistently healthy choices, or, I feel it in my heart that I will live healthy 'one day'. I will keep this new concept I learned in mind going forward when I am tempted to make the same old destructive choices.

I also learned that scholars really don't think 'diets' work, that is, attempting to significantly restrict calories. They say that it doesn't work because sooner or later the mental anguish you are putting yourself through is too much and you will typically eat even more than you would have if you ate moderately all along. Also even if you do lose, people tend to regain and whats worse is, their metabolism has changed such that new weight is typically fat rather than muscle or whatnot. The article I read stressed working on overeating, rather than trying to undereat. So focus on times when you know you over do it, instead of trying to eat way under. Also, the article talked about working on emotional eating, eating when you are bored or tired or stressed. for instance, I know I am doing that right now. I am not even really that hungry, since I had my shake and soup, but I am craving that happiness I know I would feel by biting into a delicious mayonaisse-ey sandwich with crunchy veggies and soft bread (I don't even know why I am indulging myself by describing the deliciousness of it!).

So anyway, that is what i learned today. I hope this helps someone out there.

What I learned today

I was researching dieting and exercise on some scholarly journals, which I tend to trust a lot more than most sources, and came across this great information on how to develop self-control:

"Self-control is fostered by being in a long-term positive relationship with a dependable person who communicates the value of this goal; working at self-control challenges carefully chosen to be at the correct level of difficulty for present skill; getting many positive models of the successful exercise of self-control; logging in many hours of practice where valued rewards are contingent upon greater and greater exercise of effort; learning that valued rewards can be obtained by effort, and thereby learning to enjoy effort; using fantasy rehearsal; learning compliance skills; learning verbal concepts (including a term for self-control itself) that affect the world view in ways conducive to this skill; learning the art of self -instruction; learning to remove oneself from tempting stimuli, physically and mentally; and learning self -monitoring."

Strayhorn, Joseph M Jr..

Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry. Vol.41(1), Jan 2002, pp. 17-27.

[Journal; Peer Reviewed Journal]

I was really impressed, I will break this down further into how I can apply these strategies to my daily life.

Its been a while...

Wow it has been so long since I have written anything in any of my blogs. If I had any followers, sorry for that. I had all but given up on maintaining my blogs. But looking back on what I had written more than 2 years, I am amazed to see I am practically having the same conversations with myself. Waking up too late, eating wrong, not cleaning my house enough. Holy crap.

These problems have never gotten fixed, and also, I am still trying the same old techniques and thinking the same old things about myself and how I will fix them. What does this all mean? Will they ever be fixed then? I really don't know, but looking at my old entries has been such an eye opener.

I feel rather distraught and so confused. Am I not looking at my problems with the right perspective? Am I missing some piece of the puzzle? And if so, what is it?

Am I missing the motivation to turn what I think about problems into action? I tried baby steps. I try total transformation. I try not even thinking about it and just accepting the problem about myself. This is so strange. I mean, I knew I have continued to struggle with my problems. In fact, they have gotten worse. I weigh more than I did 2 years ago, and I am in more debt. I am really at a loss here.